McKenzie’s Pumpkin Jack Hard Cider Review
Label Design7
8Overall Score
Reader Rating: (1 Vote)

McKenzie’s Pumpkin Jack Hard Cider Commercial Description:

“Who needs pumpkin pie when you can have this!

It’s All Treats & No Tricks with McKenzie’s “Pumpkin Jack” Fall Seasonal Hard Cider! This selective Seasonal uses only the finest real pumpkin and fall spices to enhance and excite both your nose and your taste buds!”

…Who needs pumpkin pie when you can have this!

Malts: –
Hops: –
Additions: Pumpkin, Fall Spices

Brewed by:
McKenzie’s Hard Cider
New York United States

Style: Pumpkin Cider
ABV:  5%

Pumpkin season evokes tender memories of our collective drunken consciousness. We sip gently and get transported to Halloween nights, complete with trick-or-treating, candy-corn art and fall treats. Demons, spooks, haunts and ghouls rule the night as the dying lights of summer gather into the colors of the campfire in a last orgasmic pyretta blaze before the cold November rains wash everything to grey.

Mckenzie’s Hard Cider is no stranger to me. I first found it during a charming trip to Lake George for the wedding of two amusing fiends. It made for good hotel pre-game drinking. I fell in love with Mckenzie’s at an amazing beerfest in Philly in 2013. Their Seasonal Reserve was like drinking a fresh apple pie. It was like drinking all that was right in America. So when I saw a six pack of a PUMPKIN cider, I knew it must be mine.

The smell of Mckenzie Pumpkin Jack Hard Cider’s is an inviting cornucopia of spices that delight the nose. The taste on the mouth of Mckenzie’s is HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK AM I DRINKING? Is this cough syrup? Have we invented pumpkin flavored diabetes? What in the name of Wilford Brimley transpires here? I mean I like sweet…hell, I like cough syrup…but this is the single most syrupy sweet drink I’ve ever had! While it’s pumpkiny like the Green Goblin, it’s impossible to focus on the spiced qualities because it is just so damn sugary! Oh god! My kidney! My kidney! Why!? Why!? How is it getting your kidneys as well!? It won’t stop! Oh God! Mother, where are you!?? Liberate Te Ex Inferis! Pretty good. Tasty, although a little on the sweet side. Eight out of Ten.

About The Author

Jason Altschul

One cannot have a Court without a Court Jester. Gleefully partakes in pumpkin beer communion with the Great Pumpkin in the hopes of one day undoing all the damage law school has done to his mind. Friends with many caterpillars.

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